meet my family
as the summer began, the numbers in my cluster of friends that i have come to get quite used to started dropping like flies. most beginning the journeys they have contemplated while trapped in classrooms for the past twelve years. many others have simply drifted into directions i have no interest in following, and a small few summated in their deceptiveness- and revealed to me that nobody really does care about you as much as you think they do. none the less i eventually became more and more comfertable (and even exited) about their absence. you know the people that fill in the gaps at parties and get togethers? they’re in between doorways, in lawnchairs, sitting on kitchen counters filling in the empty spaces you and a close friend have left open.. you have probably seen them around for a while, you know most of their names, and you have a breif idea of what those people are about: but you never really see them outside of a few isoclated situaions… after being left alone: i made friends with those people. i have eliminated almost every single female friend i have had in the past (that is exept for the ones that werent all that female in the first place) and i cannot tell you how happy i am about that. but my place there isn’t attention seeking as it could be, or escapist: im just the girl. We buy communal cigarettes, we buy communal pot, and we spend a lot of days listening to good music while participateing in very stupid activities (ex: brian jonestown massacre, wilst throwing knives at a tree). We all gotta lot a shit, and were all goin someweher else, but we take care of each other. i think my past friends were too wrapped up in themselves to do such a thing. we all know how much we got in each others bank accounts, we dont owe each other a thing, we all finely balance each other out, sometimes chilling together feels like four people hanging out alone (and i love that), and were not really ick of each other after about four hours in total of separation over the past week and a half (i wish i was exaggerating). i dont know.
in other words, my life has turned into the trailer park boys with a good soundtrack, and i am bubbles.
